


a disgrace to burgers as a concept

by zoe_ena



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Also Fred shows up, But they're not big roles or anything, Gen, What's Pop's last name?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 20:17:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10543710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoe_ena/pseuds/zoe_ena
Summary: reggie doesn't understand the proper escalation of events; also jughead just wants to eat burgers in peace.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cactusWrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactusWrites/gifts).



> I don't know why I wrote this. I have that incomplete fic I could be working on. And let me know all the mistakes I know I made but can't find.
> 
> Thanks to Matthew Hearn who will never read this but who told me the proper way to eat a burger is upside down.
> 
> as always, i love you Hilde, thank you for reading my nonsense.

If there was one thing Archie knew about Jughead it was that he loved burgers.

If there was one thing Archie knew about Reggie Mantle, it was that it was he could really be a dick when he wanted to.

So when Archie went into the cafeteria for lunch and saw that Reggie was talking to Jughead, who was doing his best to ignore Reggie and keep typing away on his laptop, his empty tray to the side. 

He was went over to confront them but Reggie went over to table of football players so when he got to the table, he just asked Jughead what that was about.

“I don’t know Arch.” Jughead said moving his tray to make room for Archie. “The prodigal captain decided to quiz me on burger eating. Which didn’t really seem like his speed, but then he started talking about something that wasn’t burgers so I stopped paying attention.”

“Reggie? Wanted to talk to you? About burgers?,” Archie could feel his voice get slightly higher at the end of each sentence fragment, he wasn’t sure the last time Reggie had actually done something surprising, “I didn’t know Reggie was capable of talking to you without it eventually ending in at least one punch.”

But Jughead was fully focused on his novel, so Archie sat and ate his lunch, and filed the incident away in his ‘weird but nothing to bring up again unless it’s brought up’ part of his brain. It’s not as if Reggie bothering Jughead was a particular new occurrence, after all.  
_____________________________________________ 

Later on that day, after practice and construction ended for that day, Fred pulled into the nearest spot to Pop’s, rain falling steadily onto the roof as he handed Archie the money for their dinner. It was Thursday, which was the agreed upon night of no effort at making food night in the Andrews’ household. He headed into the diner, greeting Pop’s and checking up on his to go order before pulling out his phone.

“Andrews!” Reggie called out, from the booth he always sat at in Pop’s.

“Reggie?” Archie, looked up, surprised to see Reggie in Pop’s. Despite Pop’s being the only place in town to get food. He walked over, putting his phone away, confused. His eyes scanned over the booth, trying to figure out why Reggie wanted to talk to him.

He felt his eyebrows rise up in surprise as he spotted a familiar beanie, sitting across from Reggie.

“Jughead?” Archie was more surprised, Jughead and Reggie barely got along, but there they were. Food on the table between them, no less.

Jughead, for his part, said, “Arch” while glaring at Reggie. Which was fairly typical for Jughead, especially with Reggie, memories of getting beat up in 6th and 7th grade still feeling fresh and unresolved. 

Reggie looked up at Archie, a smile on his face. The Mantle Smile was most of the time, an arrogant smirk, but this was actually a smile of laughter.

Before Archie could ask what was going on, Reggie said, “Watch this Andrews.”

And with that Reggie took a bite out of the burger on the table in front of him. He chewed and his smirk somehow how bigger, probably because of the food. Everyone was looking at Jughead, so Archie turned his head.

Archie had never actually seen Jughead get angry, he was pretty sure the expression on his friend’s face was truly a face that made Archie glad Jughead never got the telekinetic powers he used to talk about wanting. 

“What are you eating? Jughead, what’s with your expression?” Archie was pretty sure his eyebrows couldn’t shoot up his forehead anymore.

“You.” Jughead began, getting up from the booth suddenly, “Are a menace to all burgers.” He grabbed his bag and went past Archie towards Fred’s car in the parking lot.

Jughead’s retreating form did nothing to help Archie be less confused, but he still had to wait a bit for his food to be ready and could tell Jughead had gotten into his dad’s car. He could tell his sulk from here.

Reggie, for his part, had finished chewing and looked smugly while chuckling at what happened. He looked at Archie, while Archie sat at the stool at the bar.

“No seriously, what did you do to him?” Archie had time to kill and wanted to help his friend feel better, so he might as well figure out what made his so upset.

“I still don’t know how you are both friends Andrews.” Reggie replied, instead of answering. “I mean, with this little stunt, he’s at least some good for some laughs. And, like, I knew he, lived off burgers or whatever. But I really didn’t think eating a burger upside was able to get that type of reaction from anyone, even that weirdo.”

“Bye Reggie” Archie said, grateful to hear Pop call him over, as the food was ready to take out.

Walking to the car, Archie did think it was ridiculous. But he also never really liked Reggie so he was fine to continue thinking he was dick and was wondering how to work Shrek being his decision for their movie tonight be not entirely a reaction to his friend being sad.

He got in the car and made successfully made small talk with his dad and Jughead about nothing all that important, which was pretty good considering all the chaos of their lives recently. 

That night was pleasantly uneventful, homework and of course Shrek were the two big mainstays. Still, tomorrow was Friday so Fred made them both go to bed at 10 and they could finish the school week with something close to a normalish sleeping schedule.  
_______________________________________

#lmao read the caption for the Instagram post Reggie just shared (@ThatMantle) which was a shot of him holding a burger, sesame seeds splattered in the plate below him, burger upside down, a fresh bite in it. 

#lmao with 3 crying faces were the captions for the next post, which featured Jughead looking the angriest Archie could ever remember him being. 

Jughead had a photography instagram which never featured people's faces, and Archie had to ask him how he managed to get a shot exactly as a seed fell to the plate. If this novel thing didn't work, he had something to fall back on. 

But that was for later, first he had to make sure Jughead and Reggie didn't have a repeat of their 8th grade fight, Weatherbee instigated the hula hoop policy when they all moved onto 9th grade until they all graduated and less specialized student disciplinary plans were probably for the best.

He finally got to Pop’s, checking the timestamps and wondering how much damage could have been done in the past half hour. Jughead, surprisingly, was behind the counter. For all his love of burgers, Jughead a) couldn't actually cook and b) hated cleaning so Archie figured he must have been in real trouble with Pop to be put to (however minor and tedious) work.

He was about to ask Pop where Reggie was when the two of them came out of the back, cleaning supplies in Reggie's hands. 

“Ah.” Archie said as he turned and saw the complete mess of the booth that had been made. Shake and ketchup and mustard and, was that Ranch dressing? was covering the table, the booth cushions and also, somehow, the slowly spinning ceiling fan had a few pickle slices on it.

He went back over to Jughead, trying to get as out of the way as possible as Pop lead Reggie over, berating him as he cleaned the mess. Reggie had never looked for miserable and Archie was mildly happy about that.

“How come you got counter duty?” Archie asked as his sat at the bar top.

Jughead kept wiping at the counter.

“How are you both not a complete mess?” Archie wasn't sure til he came over but neither Reggie nor Jughead actually had a spot on them. 

“Really should have been here Arch, stuff of wonders.” Jughead looked up, a small smirk at the corners of his mouth.

“No, seriously, how does this keep happening?” Archie’s eyebrows scrunched up.

Jughead just shrugged.

“Reginald,” Jughead jerked his head towards the still miserable looking Reggie, wiping away at the windows, “apparently seems to need to have to learn about diminishing returns.”

**Author's Note:**

> Despite tagging this as Riverdale a part of me is like "this is much more archie's weird mysteries" which is my only other familiarity with Archie outside of seeing it in supermarkets as far back as I can remember. 
> 
> I entirely stole Jughead's photography instagram from Cole's, also does instagram even exist in this verse, I thought ep 3 had it but maybe not.
> 
> also I need more Reggie and Josie and Kevin and Mel and Val and Dilton, show thanks.


End file.
